It Feels So Good

So let's talk about how good it feels when God encourages you.  I mean really encourage you in a very specific way through a very specific trial.  He is big and He is King, He is Creator and He is God, but He is not beyond a specific encouragement for a specific child of His.  This is what happened for me this morning at church.

This morning, my time in worship filled me up in a profound way.  I found rest and release, comfort and courage, peace and perseverance.  It was one of those times that felt like every song was picked specifically for me (sure, this isn't true, but it sure felt like it).  Let me share and explain a few lines that spoke to me...

1. "I don't have to be afraid because I know You love me."  This encounter with God could not have come at a better time.  I will begin a concurrent therapy tomorrow that will possibly be very similar to chemo.  God is sustaining me, but I can't deny that there has been some fear.  This line spoke loud to me and carried me into the next lines.
2. "You make all things work together for my good."  I believe in Romans 8.  This trial will be worth every moment as God will be made more famous in my life (even if I'm the only one who sees it).
3. "Let what's dead come to life!"  Okay, I believe in God's healing, but I have often not been the first to pray for it in faith and expect it immediately.  Well, today, when I sang this line, it spoke to me differently than I would have ever expected.  I got this picture of the healthy cells that have been killed by the radiation coming quickly back to life.  It was a line of healing for me.
4. "I need You, oh I need You."  My only response was to physically reach as high as I could asking God to be my courage, my confidence, and my strength.

Also, as I sang that last line, I found myself crying, and it certainly was not out of sadness.  I think it was just a physical way of "letting go."  The thing is that I don't cry much.  It is not because I am afraid to, or that I feel like "real men don't cry."  I just don't.  If I do, it is always at the weirdest times when I least expect it (like when the farmer in movie Babe looks down and says, "That'll do, pig.  That'll do."  I know, right?).  Therefore, I have quite understood what people would mean by saying that "crying can be cleansing."  After the song ended, I passed a note to my wife that said, "I think I understand more how crying can be cleansing."  It just felt so good.

While the enemy may try to help me fear about tomorrow, I know that my God loves me, that He is at work for my good, and that He is healing me even as I type this post.  Oh, how I need Him.